I think my favorite dumb porn scenario is the idea of “audition porn.” Like they come in there, free of charge, and get a call a few days later, “Listen, we really don’t think you’re right for the part of horny gym student #2. In fact, we, the united porn industry, don’t really think you’ve got much of a future in this. Though, the good news is that video of you fucking some grody dude on a black leather coach in our poorly lit offices will be online forever and ever!”
Most episodes of American Horror Story: Coven wouldn’t pass a reverse Bechdel test. Besides those two scenes with Kyle and his frat brothers has there even been conversations between men this entire season? That’s pretty great.
God, now I just wanna blog photo sets of my favorite Miami drag queens.
One of the ongoing “charms” of this blog is me, a 27-year-old grown ass man, going through emotions and experiences for the first time that many people should have in high school. “I made out with someone and now there’s all these weird feelings and repercussions!” “My friend is going after a boy I like!” “Someone I almost dated is now maybe dating some boy I hate. I’m not really sure, but, oh. my. god. right?” “No one wants to hang out with me tonight. :( Does everyone hate me?”
I was depressed and friendless in high school. In college things got better. I had friends, but still wasn’t sure til my senior year how to square away this whole being gay thing in any other way then secret sexual binges and painfully awkward half attempts at dates. Even now my linger insecurities and social awkwardness make it difficult to let people in.
I find it funny when people automatically assume that those who have a hard time letting people in are protecting themselves from getting hurt. I’m pretty confident in my ability to deal with getting hurt. I want to get hurt. To experience thing. It’s part of being human. I don’t tell my friends I want to meet my husband tomorrow. I say I want to meet that boy I date for two years who then leaves me heartbroken and then meet my husband. I wish I had more close friends so I could afford to experience what its like when one totally screws you over and betrays you (in theory at least). It’s so much easier to connect to and understand people (and, side note, the art they create) when you can relate to shared experiences.
So I’m watching the Sharkeisha video, and the first thought after “this is so problematic this is going viral,” was “holy shit! So much just happened.” Here we have ShaMichael, accused, rightly or wrongly, of trying to fuck someone who Sharkeisha feels proprietary of. The girls are apparently former friends, and ShaMichael has apparently been brought into this trap by girls she also considered friends (who sit there video tapping the thing). Then Sharkeisha cold clocks here. I mean, its horrible! Brutal! But God, all of these emotions involved! It’s so stupidly and universally human! Teenage girls are taking these experiences to extremes and I’m sitting around half of last week irked because my friend was trying to mack up on some boy I liked. DUMB POST!
- As many have pointed out there’s a large number of traditionally handsome men in this cast, and we even got some boy looks in the teaser trailer. I just hope that wasn’t an intentional casting decision. The last thing that should matter in a drag competition is what they look like out of drag.
- I’ve also previously complained when the cast list was but a rumor about the number of well established queens in the cast. I don’t mind them being given this extra level of attention, but lets remember four of the five winners were pretty much unknowns before. But there’s more thoughts on that here.
- Do you think they stunt cast any prefab drama this season? I’m just waiting for it to come out that two queens used to date or something. Maybe this time they did it without it already be known out there on the internet.
- Again 5 LA queens and 3 NYC Queens? Oy.
Anyway. Queen by queen.
Adore Delano - Do you get a second 15 minutes of fame in the other gender? Are those technically the rules?
April Carrion - Miami Cuban queens are still very upset that this Puerto Rican queen was picked by Gloria Estefan herself for the Hotel Nacional video.
Ben De La Creme - Much in the way Alaska got Sharon 2.0 criticism last season, Ben is going to have to fend off Jinx Jr attacks. She seems so bubbly though and I love it.
Bianca Del Rio - I’m just confused by her casting. She already seemed so established. She’s like Lady Bunny’s other best friend. I really do love her though, and to my surprise she looks oddly like a former flame out of drag. To the point its got me feeling some type of way. I feel like I might be cementing a strong but confused allegiance here.
Courtney Act - Again, aren’t you already pretty well established? I saw her up in Lauderdale once, and she really is great singing live. So pretty too.
Darienne Lake - The most hilarious queen from Upstate New York this show may have ever had.
Gia Gunn - Fishy. I don’t know what else to say at this point?
Joselyn Fox - Fish and chips.
Kelly Mantle - When you’re IMDB page has more credits than half of the guest judges, do you really need this show?
Laganja Estranja - The tumblr fans have loved her since before she was cast, but there’s just something about her I’m not so sure of. I really can’t say why.
Magnolia Crawford - She seems smart and funny …but that nose countour …that dress …that cheap wig?
Milk - What a delightful surprise. She’ll get lots of “you need to be a bit more polished” criticism though.
Trinity K. Bonet - The closest thing we get to a Ru junior this season.
Vivacious - Seriously so intrigued. I love club kid drag. There’s still a lot of it in Miami (and better examples, if I’m being honest). She’ll get a lot of “is what you’re doing even drag?” shade from other contestants, but I’m guessing she’ll put them in their place pretty quickly. I’m actually kind of living for that.
God, I accidentally made out with one of my friends, and last night he sent me a very casual drunk-but-not-that-drunk text of like “Hey, wanna get food and then make out?” I just do not have it in me to be that casual about it with a friend when I don’t want to date you!
A gay porn star named Mike starring as the power bottom in a gang bang flick called “Open Mike Night.”
Everyone was having amazing Basel hookups it seems. I don’t really hook up during Basel week or Winter Music Conference. Too much to do, but I’ve been in a “meh, I’m just not into anything” drought lately and decide to jump on the trend. So Saturday night I go back to some British guy’s hotel. We don’t really do much of anything, and I realize I don’t particularly want to take it any further. I’m just content with make out sessions lately. So I tell him I’m tired (which I was beyond words) and should go, and he’s like, “Uh …can I come on your face first?” And I’m like “Uh …like, you’re already there? I just kinda touched it…” And then not 30 seconds later he was coming on my face. I mean, I suppose it was the polite thing to do? Then I cleaned myself up and left.
Oh the editor of major publication alone at gay bar during basel story gets better. So of course, I’m telling some sort-of-friend (who is rapidly replacing me as another’s friends go-to-gay, and, you know, ugh, whatever, people, right?) and he’s like “Oh, my other friend fucked him. Editor is bottom. He’s going to be *publication’s* new Miami correspondent.” The poor boy is going to be so sad when he realizes he got hoodwinked into fucking a short 50-year-old for hours apparently for some promise that was like more late night coke talk than actuality.
Anonymous asked: honestly i log on every saturday and sunday morning to see where your weekened ventures or thoughts have taken you and i am deeply saddened when i dont see much posted. if this is due to a lack of funds consider a kickstarter or a paypal account attached to this thing, i'll sponsor it.
God, if only I could actually solicit donations to fund my partying habit.
Actually though it was Art Basel weekend, and I’ve been too busy or to dead to fully e-document it. Nothing was quite EPIC, but also, like I did a lot.
Five Los Angeles-based queens and three from New York seems like a little much. Plus for the first time there isn’t a single Florida queen (and Latrice still stands, sadly, as the only Miami queen in the show’s history).